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i-r3fus3-2-sinkk:

Bob Saget: Saying fuck you to gender roles since 1994.

(via ashedsouls)

saddlebum:

How to lay under your horse:

  • don’t

(via hackamore)

thugkitchen:

It’s below freezing and you’ve been walking through people’s goddamn cough clouds all day. At this point, soup is fucking inevitable but don’t grab some condensed crap. Your body needs some vitamins, not a shitload of sodium. Roast up this bad motherfucker and elevate your soup game.

ROASTED TOMATO SOUP

1 28 ounce can of plain, peeled whole tomatoes (get one that is low on sodium, check that motherfucking label)

3 teaspoons of olive oil

4-5 cloves of garlic (still in their skin)

1 medium russet potato

1/2 a small head of cauliflower (about 1/3 pounds)

1/2 a medium yellow onion

1 tablespoon of diced fresh rosemary (if you need to use dried, use only 1 teaspoon)

3/4 teaspoon dried thyme

2 1/2-3 cups vegetable broth

salt and pepper to taste

Warm up your oven to 325 degrees and grab a rimmed baking sheet or big ass roasting pan. Pour 1 of the teaspoons of oil on the baking sheet and smear it around evenly to make sure nothing is going to fucking stick. Drain the tomatoes but save the juice in a separate glass, we’ll use that shit in a little bit. Slice the tomatoes in half lengthwise and place them cut side up on the baking sheet. Try to keep about 1/3 of the sheet empty for future veggies. Roll the cloves of garlic in the oil on the pan, and place them near the tomatoes. We want to leave the skin on the garlic so those little bastards roast and get all sweet. Add a small pinch of salt over the tomatoes and roast all that in the oven for 30 minutes. If you can’t remember to check the clock, set a timer. If you can’t do either then why the fuck are you in the kitchen with sharp objects?

While the tomatoes are roasting, skin the potato and chop it, the cauliflower, and onion up into dime-sized pieces. You want to end up with around 1 cup of chopped potato, 1 1/4 cup chopped cauliflower, and 1 cup chopped onion. Toss them all together in a bowl with the remaining oil, rosemary, thyme, and a small pinch of salt and pepper. After the tomatoes have roasted for 30 minutes, add the seasoned vegetable mixture to the pan, spread it out as much as possible, and roast all that shit for another 30-40 minutes. You just want to make sure the potato and cauliflower are tender and a little golden in some spots. Take the pan out of the oven and let it cool for a couple minutes. Squeeze the garlic out of its skin; it should pop right out and smell fucking dope. Add the rest of the shit from the baking sheet and the roasted garlic to a blender and pour in the broth. Run it on high until the soup looks smooth. Pour all that into a pot on the stove, warm it over a low heat, and add the remaining tomato juice you saved from the can (it should be around 1/2 a cup). If you want a thinner soup, add the extra half cup of broth but I like it thick. Taste and add more salt, pepper, or herbs to get it right for you. Serve hot with some bread so you can mop your bowl clean when your spoon becomes fucking useless.

Makes enough for 4 mugs or 2 regular bowls

New favorite blog.

neon-sneakers:

it-doesnt-mean-i-wasnt-brave:

twerktastic:

itscolossal:

Artist Paints Common Foods to Disguise them as Other Foods

this makes me so uncomfortable

omg i hate this

don’t do this to me

Well that was unexpected.  I kind of loved it.

lokiator:

goregeousity:

what if they printed books with glow in the dark ink, so you could stay up past your bedtime reading, but it wouldn’t have to use a flashlight so it wouldn’t be so obvious

the future is now

(via neon-sneakers)